I Demand Celery

       Upon arriving in country I realized how much we have to relearn. Being a typical newly-licensed teen, I was used to being sent on various errands to pick up whatever ingredient is missing from a recipe, collect small siblings from various locations, etc. etc. In Kenya, I’m not old enough to drive, and I wouldn't want to anyway. (I have a new standard for crazy drivers after watching people maneuver a donkey fight in the middle of an intersection.) Here in language school, where we will be situated until mid-September, we have been learning all manner of interesting things. Some have to do with Swahili, but most don’t. With all this change we find ourselves saying some rather peculiar things. Being the thoughtful, eclectic, person that I am, I have collected a list of a few of these strange sentences.

Meredith (overheard during a road trip in which a new version of “yellow car” was invented) : Donkey!
James: That doesn’t count, it’s a business owned donkey. 

James: OH NOOOOO!
Helen: What?
James: I dropped my chameleon! Toeless, where are you?!
Helen: Um, why is it’s name Toeless?
James: Cuz I…….uh, cuz he lost his toes somehow.

Daddy: Helen, watch out for that aardvark hole.

Helen: Oh Uh Meredith, you stepped in zebra poop.

Ritchie family member assigned to kitchen duty: Can you turn on the shower? I need to wash the dishes.

Mama: Meredith, will you go see if we have any taco sauce in the bathroom?
(our pantry is currently located in the girls’ closet which happens to be in the bathroom.)  

Language Teacher: You must say it like Pentecost!
Language Scholar: Like what?
Language Teacher: Like Pentecost! You must say it so confidently that we think you are drunk!

Language teacher: Dada Helen, Sentensi! (make a sentence with the words we just went over)
Helen: Um, ok. Ninataka figili mwitu.
Language teacher: Ok, you wouldn't say it like that. That’s a rude way. You said, “I demand celery.” You want to use “hitaji” so that you are polite.  

Helen: James! Stop throwing avocadoes! You’re gonna give someone a concussion!

Mama (overheard while calling the egg-seller): Our house is the one on the…….no…no….. We’re the ones next to the trash pit.

 

So there you have it. When we all return to the states we are likely to sound rather weird for a while. Please bear with us and make excuses for us to all those who don’t know us. Like Pentecost!