Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Which Ritchie Are You?

My family is………peculiar. We’re a kinda big crew, and each one brings their own brand of crazy to the party. This makes us a fearsome thing to behold and entirely impossible to describe. There are 6 of us kids and 2 fabulous parentals. We usually reside in Virginia Beach but some of us have temporarily relocated to Kenya for 2 years. (Except me, I’m there for 1 year due to that whole higher education thing.) Anyway, my fam bam is eccentric in that we debate theology at the dinner table, blast classical music when doing yard work, and have an uncommonly high percentage of nerds. (Sensing a theme?) So basically, we’re a heap of amazing madness. I have provided the following quiz in order to introduce the 8 members of our clan and give you a glimpse into Ritchie culture.

How unruly is your hair?                                                      
a) Hair? I haven’t had hair in years.
b) It is red (semi-naturally) and generally behaves itself.
c) Think Greek goddess curls combined with Jane Austen style.
d) When I’m at home it is fairly extraordinary. When I’m at college it takes up two seats and my weird (Ritchie-speak for beard) trails behind me.
e) I woke up this morning and my bed head scared my sister half to death. 
f) Its uncooperative and has a peculiar silver streak in it but all in all, not too bad.
g) It is my cross to bear tangle-wise, but I french braid it beautifully.
h) The occasional rooster tail. Nothing fantastic yet (<to which he protests. He declares I change it to “Awesomeness explored”)  

How do you view the morning?
a) Time to sit on the couch with “Sugar Booger” and do Bible things.
b) You are unable to sleep past 4. Too much to do!
c) With gladness and joy and caffeine.
d) Perfect time to pad around in your African pants and seek a quiet place for Bible time.
e) They are the epitome of death and darkness and unhappiness. They are as depressing as drowned kittens.
f) It depends entirely upon the speed at which English Breakfast Tea is within your grasp.
g) You get up quickly but tend to have that glazed-eye look for an hour or two.
h) You looooooooove them, but only if Josh is awake!

Your favorite food is….
a) Cake. You liiike cake.
b) Anything is good J
c) Homemade macaroni and cheese
d) Bagels. And pizza. And ice cream. And bananas. And whipped cream. And ya know, edible stuff.
e) Spaghetti. DUH.
f) Eggplant Parmesan
g) Sushi and snails. (ew)
h) Kraft mac and cheese (preferably with chicken nuggets)

Your Wardrobe consists of……
a) Khakis and a snazzy hat.
b) Long johns and snow pants and a fleece and a parka and an alpaca hat and wool socks and an electric blanket.
c) Classy dresses and scarves.
d) Jeans and some college t-shirt. (Also a rockin’ morracon jacket)
f) Red toms, skinny jeans, and your favorite sweatshirt.
e) Leopard print and lots of sparkles.
g) Flamboyant pants and flowy shirts.
h) Lego pajama pants (that are a leetle too short) and your bare manly chest.

Do you like to read?
a) I invented reading.
b) When I have time.
c) Silly person, reading is my super power.
d) Sure lots.
e) NOOOOOO!
f) More than just about anything else.
g) Yep, especially fairy books. 
h) Only Calvin and Hobbes

What is your catch phrase?
a) “This is myyyyyy the (insert your name here)”
b) “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.” “You’re in deep kimchi” “Be brave little Piglet!” “Too much sand in your dump truck?”
c) “How lovely!” or “That’s so lovely” or “Lovely!”
d) “Es La Verdad.” (It is the truth!)
e) “Oh my stars!”
f) “Mom, my arm dislocated again.”
g) “insert movie quote here”
h) (concussive, triple digit decibel, constant ruckus)

What is your theme song?
a) Beethoven’s Choral Piano Fantasia (Listen Here)
 (Or the elephant marching song from Jungle Book) (Listen Here)
b) The Happy Working Song(Listen Here)
c) Mrs. Darcy(Listen Here)
d) Hakuna Matata(Listen Here)
e) Unicorn I love them, unicorns I love them! (Listen Here)
f) The Circle of Life (Listen Here)
g) I’ve got a dream (Listen Here)
h) Stomp kitchen song (Listen Here)

Your beverage of choice is……
a) Earl grey tea
b) Diet coke
c) Hot tea of nearly any kind
d) Kenyan chai
e) Pink lemonade or peppermint tea
f) Irish (or English) Breakfast Tea with mucho honey
g) Apple juice
h) Chocolate milk

Alright, tally your letters and prepare for evaluation.

Mostly A’s: Most Excellent one you are Daddy. Retired Navy Doc, blaster of classical music, examiner of classic art, and wearer of Hawaiian shirts. You are an unashamed and greatly respected nerd and exhort your children to excellence in all forms.

Mostly B’s: Yay! You, oh fabulous one, are Mother dearest. You have somehow managed to homeschool 6 semi-sane human beings, teach a Sunday school class, maintain a marriage, make friends with all the people, run a household, instill your children with countless opportunities and maintain your girlish figure.

Mostly C’s: Behold, thou art Sarah. The oldest of the chillens, skilled in the art of sibling maneuvering, and Grand Poobah of playlist creation. You adore gardenias and walks and anything written by P.G. Wodehouse. You pursue Jesus with serious skill and play the pinano like a ninja of the keys.



Mostly D’s: Well hello Josh, oldest man child of the clan. You would be a mountain hermit but you love people too much. Hugs, compliments, and adoration of Jesus are your thing. You drive with the windows down, enjoy wrangling with the wee broski, and play the guitar like Jack Johnson himself.

Mostly E’s: Congratulations, you are Perry! You are affectionately known as “Fuzzy” and enjoy an intentionally vibrant wardrobe. You appreciate puns, animals (especially horses), sleep, and chocolate. Currently you are training to be a Vet Tech in the Blue Ridge Mountains. You are the 3rd child currently about age 19.

Mostly F’s: Well hey there Helen. You are the one with the weirdest nicknames: grits-in-your-hair, mountain goat, Fred. You have a habit of making people laugh usually through tales of awkward adventures. You are currently residing in Kenya and will return for college in the summer of 2015. You are 16 years old and the 4th child.  And also the author of this blog ;)

Mostly G’s: Wow, look at you, just like Meredith! You truly have no opinion when it comes to making a decision and are happy to go along with whatever. There is no small child or soft baby animal that you wouldn't play with (even if it was rabid). You have dimples and a fabulous giggle and make friends instantly. You are 12 years old and the 5th child.


Mostly H’s: Behold, James the toothless. You are the youngest of the clan and certainly possess the greatest decibel capacity. You spend your days singing, playing Legos, adoring dogs, and eating. When you were four you had a run in with the legs of a chair and are just now, at the ripe old age of 8, regaining your front teeth. You adore Kenya and want to stay here forever.

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